WOW. I wish you could be a fly on the wall during our last session with our Parenting Coordinator. It was amazing.
The Parenting Coordinator (PC) is a person assigned by the courts to help couples going through a high-conflict divorce do a better job at co-parenting. The PF can help negotiate changes in custody time, interpret custody orders, settle disputes regarding parenting issues, suggest better means of communication between the parents, and do a variety of other things that the court has defined as their duties. This helps keep issues out of the courtroom and legal system.
I am soooo grateful we have a strong, bold, experienced PC. I was nervous going to our first few meetings. I did everything I knew to do to prepare for a tough meeting. I exercised, prayed, reviewed my favorite scriptures, texted my friends to cover the meeting in prayer, and wrote down a few key points that I wanted to discuss. I printed out some email and text exchanges between us that were particularly difficult, hostile or harrassing. I walked into the meetings not knowing what my narc X2B would say or what route the conversation would take. But I also walked in with a peace that passes understanding because I trusted God was good and sovereign and that he loved me and my kids.
I usually walk out of our PC meetings tired but grateful. Grateful that the PF has spoken bold truth, grateful that someone else is seeing what’s really going on here. The narcissist may not change much, but at least I have a credible professional who has seen the patterns and can try to help.
In the last few meetings, the PC told my narc X2B a lot of tough things. He said he was controlling, negative, manipulating the kids, and needed a therapist. To be totally fair, our PC had feedback for me, too. He told me to try to use the words “parenting time” instead of “custody time”. Check. I’ll work on that. Continue reading