I am so sorry. I’m so sorry you are searching the web, looking for something, anything, to help you you as you go through this tragedy of divorce. I am so sorry for the pain you are experiencing.
It’s not what you dreamed of when you were growing up; it’s not what I dreamed, either. But know that you are not alone. I hope what I’ve learned these past 2 years as I’ve navigated the difficult journey of being a Christian woman divorcing an emotionally abusive man helps you as you go through this hard time.
I am a Christian, living in the United States, with three children, who goes to church and thought I trusted God. I really did think I trusted Him. Maybe you know what I mean…you pray about things, go to church, and assume things will work out. But life was pretty good, and I was pretty busy, and I thought I had things pretty well under control, thank you. Except for my relationship with my husband. But I pretended for years that things were fine, because I didn’t want to rock the boat, or be a burden, or cause pain for my children.
So I didn’t really know what trust was – until this. Now, after divorcing someone who berates, blames, explodes, manipulates, and twists the truth, I am finally learning what TRUST in God really is. For me, it’s sitting in my quiet place, looking to God, acknowledging I’m broken, and turning my life and will over to him each day. Some days it’s hour by hour. I’ve been broken beyond what I can imagine, but God has taken my brokenness and done something good – He has taken my old heart of stone, that frankly didn’t feel very much, and turned it into a heart of flesh. My heart is growing in love, compassion, strength and empathy. I am so grateful for the many surprising ways that my brokenness is healing and growing my heart.
Thus the website “Broken.HEARTED”. I hope you, too, will enter into brokenness and turn your life and will over to God each day and see the amazing ways that He heals and changes and grows your HEART. Even in the middle of divorcing an emotionally abusive spouse and/or narcissist. I’m grateful for what He is teaching me and hope I can share something good with you, too.
This is challenging.
You will be OK.
Take very good of yourself.
Remember to breathe and pray.
Love and blessings,